Lyran Cat Priestesses in Service to the Orb of Holofelinity

Upon Lemewria an order of Cat Priestesses arose that specifically exercised ritual power over the Orb of Holofelinity. This occult female order was comprised of both Felis and Panthera type Lyrans, and therefore represented a unification of differing strata of Lemewrian Society. However, its activities were largely secret, and much of the powerful esoteric knowledge of the Cat Priestesshood of Pussiopolis never escaped the destruction of Lemewria. Just as the Orb of Holofelinity came in shards to Planet Earth, so to did the Teachings of Holofelinity, preserved carefully by the surviving Cat Priestesses who resettled as extraterrestrial refugees upon the wild Earth. Upon this planet they were much more than mere priestesses and were like unto goddesses, and it is from this lineage that the tradition of Cat Goddesses of Ancient Egypt – Bastet, Sekhmet, Tefnut, etc. – derives. The Cat Priestesses had a central role in the creation of humankind. Initially, Homo Sapiens were engineered to be a pro-wrestler species, general entertainer and erotic plaything to the Lyran Cat Lords who rapidly succumbed to intermarriage with mankind resulting not only with the familiar tale of cosmic retribution for a miscegenation of divinity, but also in the elevation of human consciousness with an inkling of the profound power of Holofelinity.

The Orb of Holofelinity upon the Catopian Planet of Lemewria

Upon long lost Lemewria the Lyrans dwelt in a “Catopia” of perfect feline harmony under the Law of Holofelinity, “Universal Cat Consciousness”. Lemewria was at once an idyllic microcosmos of all that a respectable peace-loving feline citizen of the Catopian planet-state of perfect cat love could hope for, as well as an uncompromising wilderness filled with unpredictable natural phenomena (and replete with succulent prey for the dominant race of feline apex predators to pursue and consume!). Lemewria was a realm of architectural wonders – cat trees and scratching posts of enormous size and architectural grandeur (and much more!). At the center of all of these wonders was a sacred globe – the “Orb of Holofelinity” which was not only a mystical shrine reverenced by all Lyrans of Lemewria, but was also a functioning power generator that resonated and magnified the collective consciousness of the Lyrans. Through the power of Holofelinity, Universal Cat Consciousness, the cats were able to lead their ideal lives. Many chose to live more in a dream world than in physical reality and would spend their time floating on balls of rice, basically being – not just pretending – but being sushi. This pastime was facilitated by a rare element, “Pizzazium”, which facilitated these polymorphic “transcommodifications”. Ultimately, it was the reliance on Pizzazium that precipitated the downfall of the Lyrans and the total destruction of their beautiful home planet at the hands of the Disco Reptilians. Yet it is believed that when they fled Lemewria the Lyrans preserved with them fragments of the Orb of Holofelinity that had been shattered in the apocalyptic conflagration. These fragments still retained significant power, and it was through the use of the Shards of Holofelinity that the Lyran Space Cats built the antediluvian civilization of Catlantis upon Earth.

Destruction of Lemewria and Escape to Earth

Lyran Space Cats in their ultimately powerful form as elite laser battle kittens flee their exploding planet, “Lemewria”, a satellite of the pole star Vega approximately 52000 BCE. Using their powerful laser focus, the Lyran Space Cats, identified nearby Planet Earth, only 25 light years away, as a suitable candidate to establish a new home for Lyran Cat Civilization. Riding upon an electromagnetic standing wave, an exodus of furry little kittens made their way across the galaxy and settled upon the primeval earth to establish their great Cat Civilization in exile, “Catlantis”.

CATLANTIS!!! (Introductory Comments + Map)

Location of Lost Continent, “Catlantis”. A beautiful ice world of advanced space cat civilization based on principles of Holofelinity established by the refugee Lyran Cat Lords who settled on Earth an estimated 100000 years BCE (Before deluge of Yonger Dryass at end of last Ice Age). Note that the continent is a work of “Vernacular Geology” – Catlantis distinctly evokes an upside down cathead when viewed from outer space.