The Orb of Holofelinity upon the Catopian Planet of Lemewria

Upon long lost Lemewria the Lyrans dwelt in a “Catopia” of perfect feline harmony under the Law of Holofelinity, “Universal Cat Consciousness”. Lemewria was at once an idyllic microcosmos of all that a respectable peace-loving feline citizen of the Catopian planet-state of perfect cat love could hope for, as well as an uncompromising wilderness filled with unpredictable natural phenomena (and replete with succulent prey for the dominant race of feline apex predators to pursue and consume!). Lemewria was a realm of architectural wonders – cat trees and scratching posts of enormous size and architectural grandeur (and much more!). At the center of all of these wonders was a sacred globe – the “Orb of Holofelinity” which was not only a mystical shrine reverenced by all Lyrans of Lemewria, but was also a functioning power generator that resonated and magnified the collective consciousness of the Lyrans. Through the power of Holofelinity, Universal Cat Consciousness, the cats were able to lead their ideal lives. Many chose to live more in a dream world than in physical reality and would spend their time floating on balls of rice, basically being – not just pretending – but being sushi. This pastime was facilitated by a rare element, “Pizzazium”, which facilitated these polymorphic “transcommodifications”. Ultimately, it was the reliance on Pizzazium that precipitated the downfall of the Lyrans and the total destruction of their beautiful home planet at the hands of the Disco Reptilians. Yet it is believed that when they fled Lemewria the Lyrans preserved with them fragments of the Orb of Holofelinity that had been shattered in the apocalyptic conflagration. These fragments still retained significant power, and it was through the use of the Shards of Holofelinity that the Lyran Space Cats built the antediluvian civilization of Catlantis upon Earth.

Sushinium – the Pizzazium Gateway Drug

These images show cats indulging in the disassociative feline bliss of holofelinity known as “Transcommodification”. Lyran Cat society was divided chiefly into two castes; a clerical or priestly class known as “Felis” and a warrior or engineer class known as “Panthera”. These castes were equal but different and both were required for the smooth functioning of the Catopia that thrived on ancient Lemewria. However, it is a sad historical fact that it was the Felis caste of cats, with their love of cerebral metaphysics and altered states of consciousness, that became addicted to transcommodifying themselves. First it begins with “Sushinium” (a light recreational transcommodifying agent) and the cats start turning into sushi, then it progresses to hot dogs, and finally – in the most severe stages of the addiction – pizza itself (the worst!). The states of transcommodification are facilitated by a rare element known as “Pizzazium”, which is, for all practical purposes an addictive drug – one with often irreversible effects.

Pizzazium – The Undoing of Lemewria

“Pizzazium” is only a mere approximation of this mysterious missing element, this lost philosopher’s stone, this wonder drug of the cat civilization of Lemewria that once orbited Vega the pole star. Some scholars refer to the conflict between Disco-Reptilians and the Lyran Space Cats as the “Pizzazium Wars” not only due to the amount of style and glamour with which this long fought battle was waged on both sides, but because the essential conflict was over this precious substance, “Pizzazium.” Presumably, the last supplies of this powerful psychoactive element were lost in the destruction of Lemewria apprx. 100,000 BCE. Before this, Lyran Space Cats gradually became addicted to “Transcommodification” – a kind of disassociative polymorphism that was found a relaxing and supremely pleasurable feline pastime which led to widespread epidemic of addiction to becoming – ultimately and for lack of a better description – pizza. Yes, pizza . . .