The Orb of Holofelinity upon the Catopian Planet of Lemewria

Upon long lost Lemewria the Lyrans dwelt in a “Catopia” of perfect feline harmony under the Law of Holofelinity, “Universal Cat Consciousness”. Lemewria was at once an idyllic microcosmos of all that a respectable peace-loving feline citizen of the Catopian planet-state of perfect cat love could hope for, as well as an uncompromising wilderness filled with unpredictable natural phenomena (and replete with succulent prey for the dominant race of feline apex predators to pursue and consume!). Lemewria was a realm of architectural wonders – cat trees and scratching posts of enormous size and architectural grandeur (and much more!). At the center of all of these wonders was a sacred globe – the “Orb of Holofelinity” which was not only a mystical shrine reverenced by all Lyrans of Lemewria, but was also a functioning power generator that resonated and magnified the collective consciousness of the Lyrans. Through the power of Holofelinity, Universal Cat Consciousness, the cats were able to lead their ideal lives. Many chose to live more in a dream world than in physical reality and would spend their time floating on balls of rice, basically being – not just pretending – but being sushi. This pastime was facilitated by a rare element, “Pizzazium”, which facilitated these polymorphic “transcommodifications”. Ultimately, it was the reliance on Pizzazium that precipitated the downfall of the Lyrans and the total destruction of their beautiful home planet at the hands of the Disco Reptilians. Yet it is believed that when they fled Lemewria the Lyrans preserved with them fragments of the Orb of Holofelinity that had been shattered in the apocalyptic conflagration. These fragments still retained significant power, and it was through the use of the Shards of Holofelinity that the Lyran Space Cats built the antediluvian civilization of Catlantis upon Earth.

Eternal Enemies! Cats vs. Lizards!!

Felines and Reptiles: Forever foes throughout space and time. Two great space races descended from the stars. The Lyrans call their home the pole star, Vega, in the constellation of Lyra. The Disco Reptilians call their home the pole star, Alpha Draconis (aka; “Thuban”), in the constellation Draco. The reptilians are intrepid wanderers setting forth from their remote dwelling within the star Thuban. Their physical composition has no vulnerability to heat and so it is possible for them to live within a blazing star. Their actual weakness is love, a power which they cannot accept. If love is given to a Disco Reptilian unconditionally then they are forced to transform and become a completely non-physical entity which serves love and only love without limit. Yet, it is precisely this strategy that few beings, let alone races of beings, have the power to realize. When faced with powerful enemies possessed with an uncompromising and unreasoning lust for destruction few can find it within themselves to return such treatment with love and compassion. Thus, countless extraterrestrial peoples and their great civilizations throughout the galaxy have succumbed to the destructive whims of the Disco Reptilians. Ultimately, however, this was the triumph of the Lyran Space Cats upon Earth when they had their final confrontation with the Disco Reptilians: The Lyrans chose love, pure love, and the Disco Reptilians were forced to ascend to the higher realm of the angels.

Pizzazium – The Undoing of Lemewria

“Pizzazium” is only a mere approximation of this mysterious missing element, this lost philosopher’s stone, this wonder drug of the cat civilization of Lemewria that once orbited Vega the pole star. Some scholars refer to the conflict between Disco-Reptilians and the Lyran Space Cats as the “Pizzazium Wars” not only due to the amount of style and glamour with which this long fought battle was waged on both sides, but because the essential conflict was over this precious substance, “Pizzazium.” Presumably, the last supplies of this powerful psychoactive element were lost in the destruction of Lemewria apprx. 100,000 BCE. Before this, Lyran Space Cats gradually became addicted to “Transcommodification” – a kind of disassociative polymorphism that was found a relaxing and supremely pleasurable feline pastime which led to widespread epidemic of addiction to becoming – ultimately and for lack of a better description – pizza. Yes, pizza . . .

Awesome and Destructive Power of the Disco Reptilians

Disco Reptilians, both the males and the females of the ancient race, enjoy destruction for its own sake. As we cannot blame a predator for being a predator, so why should not these cold-blooded extraterrestrials enjoy the suffering they inflict upon all? For them destruction is sexy – a glamorous dance of pleasure. They hunt the galaxy seeking the weak and the decadent civilizations that have grown too fragile and exotic to defend themselves against the thumping onslaught of groovy party reptiloids. Thrashing their tails and gnashing their teeth in time to a frantically funky syncopation of whirling asteroids and exploding technicolor planetoids in scintillating orbit around their colossal Motherships, the Disco Reptilians transform entire solar systems into charnel yet flashy nightclubs of doom as they demolish once mighty and advanced civilizations and crush to smithereens entire planets and swallow whole their moons.

Lyran Cat Lords vs. Disco Reptilians (Eternal Conflict!!!)

The planet Lemewria, the ancestral home of the Lyran Space Cats, located in the constellation of Lyra, orbiting the pole star Vega, was the center of Cat Civilization informed by the power of Holofelinity, “Universal Cat Consciousness”, that prioritized mind over matter. Eventually the ascendency of the spiritual over matter led to a decadence and decline in Feline Civilization on Lemewria that so weakened the once noble space cat race that they were susceptible to attack by “Disco Reptilians”. Thus began the Disco-Lyran Wars that raged for 100,00 years!